Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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