dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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