Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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