...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
