Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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