I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment