Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
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There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.