Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not