Already got asked if we're dating
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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