You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
