Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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