Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
