I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
