I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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