just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
