My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How does it feel to date your dad?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
