Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
