the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
