Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
