i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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