Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
