I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year