he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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