ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
