he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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