if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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