Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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