Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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