If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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