I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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