Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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