We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
