So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
