Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
