were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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