I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've blown a few things in my day
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
