Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
