so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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