Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize