ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize