I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
