The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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