arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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