Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
