just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
there is glitter all over my balls
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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