while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No subtext here. People are naked.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
