Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
