im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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