Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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