please come you make the beer taste better
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
