I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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