he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
