somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
