come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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