There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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