if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
