Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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