You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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