She is in my trunk
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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