He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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