Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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