He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
