So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
