I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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